The First Date

gotta say the right thingFirst date etiquette

The First Date

So you met on a dating site and now you’re trying to figure out what to do for your first time out. There’s lots of fun things you can try. But first here are a few first date things that you should avoid.

Movies suck on the first date

Why are movies so crappy on the first date? Because you guys are supposed to be getting to know one another and get a feel for each other to see if you have any chemistry. If you do or don’t you’ll never know if the two of you are staring at screen the entire time. You want to do something interactive like talking over dinner and drinks, coffee, or something like that. What you really want to be doing is paying attention to what she likes to do. If she likes a certain band or a certain kind of music, going out to see someone live in that genre is great for a second date. Why not on the first one? Because you’re supposed to be getting to know one another! That’s the entire point of the first date. You and she get to see what kind of chemistry you have together.

First Date Etiquette

Don’t talk excessively about yourself

Unless you want to seem like a narcissist, don’t excessively talk about yourself. Be sure to engage her and ask questions. Listen to what she’s saying and steer the conversation away from her thoughts, making everything about you. There’s nothing more unattractive than someone going out of their way to impress someone else by not allowing them the chance to speak.

Shut up about your exes

What’s the worst topic of conversation for a first date? Your exes. This almost never goes well. Why? Because you want her associating positive feelings with you via your interaction with her, not dredging up shitty memories of some douchey ex who made her feel like crap or something. Another good reason to avoid talking about your exes is that it makes it seem as if you haven’t moved on. And what’s worse is that it probably seems that way because it is that way. There’s no faster way to ruin a first date than by talking about your exes.

Keep your options open

Don’t be overly attached to the idea that you two are going to be hooking up or going out on a second date. Sometimes the chemistry isn’t there and it’s no one’s fault, it’s just that the chemistry isn’t there. You can’t take it personally every time a first date doesn’t go anywhere. People don’t work out for any number of reasons. Maybe she’s coming off a bad relationship and she’s looking for a rebound thing. Then she realizes she isn’t ready and it never goes anywhere. Maybe you’re not ready and your hearts not really in the exchange. It’s not her fault you seem maudlin and distant. Why would it be your fault if that’s how she seems? Don’t be hard on yourself or blame yourself if it doesn’t work out.

Read her body language

Women have ways of letting you know that they’re interested in you. First dates usually begin very tensely and then over time if people are interested in one another they loosen up. That’s good chemistry. If that doesn’t happen then the chemistry is off for whatever reason, and you probably won’t end up on a second date with that girl. But be sure to pay special attention to her pupils. Dilated pupils indicate arousal (or intoxication). Unless she’s completed wasted or has a heroin problem you can safely say that if her pupils are dilated she’s having a good time.

Don’t be pushy

There’s no faster way to turn a girl off than by pushing her faster than she wants to go. Finesse is key. Feel her out. Ask her what she’s looking for out of a relationship.

What to do on the first date

Bowling

Bowling is fun because you both get to be silly and have a good time throwing a ball down the lane. You can interact but you don’t have to focus all of your attention on one another. Afterward, ice cream, coffee, or drinks at the bar allow you to get to know one another better.

Dinner and Drinks

There’s a reason why this is a staple idea of first dates. It lets you two get to know one another and focus your attention on each other. You can even see a movie afterward as long as the two of you have some time to chat and feel each other out.

Hire A Private Detective To Find Out If He Cheated On You

did he cheat cluesFind Out If He Cheated

Cheating Clues Only A Private Eye Can Pick Up On

Although we may think that a private detective only exists in the movies, there are in fact private investigators available to help you find out if he cheated. Private detectives can pick up on cheating clues that the rest of us would tend to overlook. They are able to determine the truth amongst all of the lies, and separate fact from blind jealousy in order to figure out what is really going on. There are everyday clues and small indications that are invisible to the untrained eye, and a private detective is the one who is best equipped to help you find them. They are able to draw the implications from the name of the restaurant on a book of matches, or create clear conclusions from the changes in his schedule that will help you find the truth.

Before you hire a private investigator, make sure you read this article about common signs that indicate cheating.

Private Detective: Things Just Got Serious

If you are considering hiring a private detective, then you know that things have gotten serious. Hiring a private detective means investing good money into proving something that you are not quite sure of. A private investigator takes their job very seriously, and will go through extreme measures to complete the case, so you need to make sure that you are ready to commit to their findings and their fees to get it done. Hiring a private detective is no joke, so be serious about what you are getting into.

You Know He Cheated But Can’t Prove It

Sometimes we can be so sure about something, but we just don’t have the evidence to prove that it really happened. In these cases, it is one person’s word against another’s, and this is no true way of settling a dispute. If you are confident that he cheated on you, but don’t have any way of proving it, then hiring a private detective is the next best step. A private investigator will be able to find the evidence that is needed to solve the case, and will give you what you need to prove it.

Private Investigators — Helping You Find The Truth

It is the job of a private investigator to help you find the truth, and they will do whatever it takes to resolve that. They have a variety of skills and techniques that they can use to find the evidence that is needed to prove what is truly happening. They are impartial and unbiased, which means that they will tell you exactly what is happening as it can be proven. This could mean that they will tell you that nothing is happening if it is the truth, or they will tell you exactly what you had been suspecting the whole time, but had no evidence to prove what it was.

Dumping A Cheater Once And For All

Breaking up is never easy, but if you have the evidence you have been searching for, then dumping the cheater once and for all is the right next move. Using the hard evidence provided by a private investigator will give you the leverage you need to shut down the cheater in his tracks. It will also give you the sense of security and confidence in dumping the cheater as you can be absolutely sure about what has been happening behind your back. If you aren’t sure about dumping the cheater, check out this article on why breaking up is the right thing to do.

Caught Cheating? Now What?

cheating boyfriendAdvice for cheaters

I broke her heart and I remember feeling so bad for her. She had this idea in her head, this story that she told herself about her life, and who she was, and what her marriage was, and I ended up destroying all of that. It wasn’t so much that I had sex with another woman that bothered her the most. It was the idea that the entire narrative of her life was a lie. It shook her somewhere to her very core. And it wasn’t that I didn’t love her. I did love her. I loved her with all my heart. I still love her. I wish that there was something I could do to make it up to her. But the temptation was so great, and no matter how many times I tried to deny myself, I knew on a long enough time scale I will screw everything up again.

What to do if you got caught cheating

Here is some advice I can give you. If you’re caught cheating, just admit it. Don’t try to deny it. Don’t push off responsibility for it onto her or life or your relationship or your job. Take full responsibility for it. Be honest. She needs to know that you’re a cheater and you did it because you wanted to, and if she gave you another chance, you’d probably do it again. Not because you don’t love her, but because monogamous relationships do not make you happy. She may not like your explanation. She may never forgive you for what you did. But it has the advantage of sparing her the indignity of another lie, another false narrative she feels like an idiot for believing. Be a man. Take responsibility. Don’t make her hate herself. Fall on your sword. It was your fault. You did the wrong thing. If she needs to hate you, let her.

The truth is, monogamous relationships don’t work for everyone. Your wife might be someone who needs to comfort and predictability of a monogamous relationship. The problem is, if you’re being honest with yourself, you can’t give that to her. Nowadays, guys are going into counseling for sex addiction and whatnot all because they want to have sex outside their marriage. Their wives buy it because it’s a comfortable lie. My husband has a psychological disease which compels him to behave hurtfully, and maybe there’s some truth to that, I don’t know.

What I do know is that I’ve never been well suited to maintain a committed monogamous relationship with a single woman over a long period of time. If I could, I would still be with my wife.

But the best advice I can give cheaters out there is to not play that head game where you make them think they’re just being crazy and paranoid for being correct. You have no idea how unimaginably cruel that is.

Where to find casual encounters

After my divorce, things got better for both of us. She started dating again and she was happy. There are just as many men out there who prefer monogamous relationships as there are women. On the other hand, there are plenty of women who, like me, aren’t into the whole monogamy thing.

One of the cool things about this age of the internet is that it’s easy to find people who like yourself, enjoy having sex with multiple partners. Casual online dating has become a huge industry with millions of users all over the world coming together to find one another in a world where monogamous relationships don’t work for them.

Instead of stringing along some other poor woman who just wants to settle down with a husband and live out her life, you could be hooking up with beautiful women from your area and beyond for some kinky casual dating and no strings attached encounters. Some of us just don’t do well in monogamous relationships and it’s unfair for us to engage in them because not only do we hurt the people we care about but we deprive ourselves of what we want in the process.

Since our divorce things are amicable between my ex-wife and I. She respects the fact that I was honest with her and while she may not completely approve of my sexual lifestyle she understands that it makes me happy and that’s ok. We still split time with the kids and neither one of us wanted to run the other person through the ringer with divorce lawyers.

But you have to know who you are and what you want out of your relationships. Sadly, we both got hurt because I cheated.

5 Confessions Made By A Serial Cheater

Confessions Of A Cheater: I Didn’t Plan On Cheating

Most of the time, cheaters don’t plan on cheating. Many cheaters are in fact in love with their partner and feel extremely guilty about what has happened. Sometimes cheating just happens, and it wasn’t a premeditated betrayal of anything. Sometimes, when people are separated by distance or tempted by an opportunity that is too difficult to resist, cheating can happen regardless of how strong a relationship is. Particularly for guys, but women as well, sometimes the urge to be fulfilled is too great to overcome. It is in these situations that cheating happens, and even if they are in love, people can do something that they regret. It may not be in the plans, but once it happens, it can be a very difficult issue to deal with for everyone involved.

Serial Cheating: It Isn’t So Simple

Sometimes people who cheat, end up cheating over and over again. This is known as serial cheating, and while many people could paint this person as a bad soul, it isn’t quite as simple as that. People who serial cheat are not looking to hurt others, but fill something within themselves. This could be a lack of self confidence, a desire to be accepted by others, or even sex addiction of some type. When people cheat constantly, there is a greater issue than just unhappiness in a relationship at play. It requires a lot of digging to get to the bottom of it, and will likely never be overcome until it is fully understood.

serial cheater confessConfessions Of A Cheater

Just Because I Cheated Doesn’t Mean I Wasn’t In Love

Love and cheating are two different types of relationships. Just because someone cheated does not mean that they don’t love their partner, just as it does not necessarily mean that they love the person that they cheated with. It is possible for a person to love someone else, but still make a bad choice or decision that ends up hurting the other person. Love is a confusing thing, and sex is not always the perfect representation of what it truly means. We often use sex as the symbol for love, but sometimes it can mislead us away from the true meaning.

I Feel Guilty About What I Did

In our society, we consider cheating to be a bad thing, so this can cause a lot of guilt in anyone who does it. Typically guilt will be the very factor that makes a person break down and admit what they are doing, or act in such a way that they expose themselves. It is extremely common to feel guilty about cheating because there is always someone who is going to be hurt in the end.

I’ve Never Not Cheated

There is a saying that “Once you are a cheater, you are always a cheater.” Although this may not be true for every cheater, it certainly holds some validity for others. Serial cheating happens over and over in every new relationship, regardless of the good times or the bad times. Some people are incapable of staying monogamous, and this does not mean they are bad people, however it does mean they may make bad life partners if they are not honest about how they act. For people like this, the best way to not cheat is to be honest about their tendency to stray away at times.

If this helps you understand cheating a little more and you want to learn why you should forgive your cheating husband or your cheating wife check out these links for more advice.