The First Date
So you met on a dating site and now you’re trying to figure out what to do for your first time out. There’s lots of fun things you can try. But first here are a few first date things that you should avoid.
Movies suck on the first date
Why are movies so crappy on the first date? Because you guys are supposed to be getting to know one another and get a feel for each other to see if you have any chemistry. If you do or don’t you’ll never know if the two of you are staring at screen the entire time. You want to do something interactive like talking over dinner and drinks, coffee, or something like that. What you really want to be doing is paying attention to what she likes to do. If she likes a certain band or a certain kind of music, going out to see someone live in that genre is great for a second date. Why not on the first one? Because you’re supposed to be getting to know one another! That’s the entire point of the first date. You and she get to see what kind of chemistry you have together.
First Date Etiquette
Don’t talk excessively about yourself
Unless you want to seem like a narcissist, don’t excessively talk about yourself. Be sure to engage her and ask questions. Listen to what she’s saying and steer the conversation away from her thoughts, making everything about you. There’s nothing more unattractive than someone going out of their way to impress someone else by not allowing them the chance to speak.
Shut up about your exes
What’s the worst topic of conversation for a first date? Your exes. This almost never goes well. Why? Because you want her associating positive feelings with you via your interaction with her, not dredging up shitty memories of some douchey ex who made her feel like crap or something. Another good reason to avoid talking about your exes is that it makes it seem as if you haven’t moved on. And what’s worse is that it probably seems that way because it is that way. There’s no faster way to ruin a first date than by talking about your exes.
Keep your options open
Don’t be overly attached to the idea that you two are going to be hooking up or going out on a second date. Sometimes the chemistry isn’t there and it’s no one’s fault, it’s just that the chemistry isn’t there. You can’t take it personally every time a first date doesn’t go anywhere. People don’t work out for any number of reasons. Maybe she’s coming off a bad relationship and she’s looking for a rebound thing. Then she realizes she isn’t ready and it never goes anywhere. Maybe you’re not ready and your hearts not really in the exchange. It’s not her fault you seem maudlin and distant. Why would it be your fault if that’s how she seems? Don’t be hard on yourself or blame yourself if it doesn’t work out.
Read her body language
Women have ways of letting you know that they’re interested in you. First dates usually begin very tensely and then over time if people are interested in one another they loosen up. That’s good chemistry. If that doesn’t happen then the chemistry is off for whatever reason, and you probably won’t end up on a second date with that girl. But be sure to pay special attention to her pupils. Dilated pupils indicate arousal (or intoxication). Unless she’s completed wasted or has a heroin problem you can safely say that if her pupils are dilated she’s having a good time.
Don’t be pushy
There’s no faster way to turn a girl off than by pushing her faster than she wants to go. Finesse is key. Feel her out. Ask her what she’s looking for out of a relationship.
What to do on the first date
Bowling is fun because you both get to be silly and have a good time throwing a ball down the lane. You can interact but you don’t have to focus all of your attention on one another. Afterward, ice cream, coffee, or drinks at the bar allow you to get to know one another better.
Dinner and Drinks
There’s a reason why this is a staple idea of first dates. It lets you two get to know one another and focus your attention on each other. You can even see a movie afterward as long as the two of you have some time to chat and feel each other out.